Walking

Last week, I dreamt of being lost and alone in a jungle.

All the gear I had (GPS, flashlight, walkie talkie) was dead. The only working gadget was a compass, but I couldn't pinpoint the sun due to the heavy raining.

Left with little choice, I began walking to the west as the rain began to subside. It was warm and soothing and would also keep mosquitos away... At least for a while.

Most city rats would shiver at the thought of getting lost in an unknown place. A jungle would definitely be a no-no. Giving up to desperation is a sure way to die in such environment... Besides, all the local creatures were making noises and doing their business as usual; it's when they suddenly become silent that trouble will undoubtely ensue.

For how long I continued walking? Could have been hours, or days... I really can't remember.

However, the smells and sounds of the jungle began to change. There was a breeze that tasted salty, and the nice slow cadence of surf waves.

I ran as fast as I could until the ground transformed into sand. There were no more clouds and the rain was behind me. The sun was setting down for the day and slowly began to sink into the ocean, bathed in oranges and crimson.

I felt happy. I made it. I knew where I was.
Shortly thereafter, I recalled I was still lost.

Dream of no-tranquility

Not even half a moon ago, a had a weird dream:

I was sitting on the beach watching the sunset. There were not many people around, or I didn't pay enough attention to them.

The surf was very strong, crashing loudly against the sand and making a lot of foam only to quickly recede back and fuse with the next incoming wave.

Then I saw a shadow approaching me. A girl. She was with someone else, but he stayed back. Her voice was too familiar: "I have been looking for you all over. We need to talk...".

I did not turn my head to look at her, but calmly stood up instead.
She insisted: "Please... I need to talk to you...".

Slowly and quietly, but still not looking back at her, I said there was nothing to talk about. My eyes remained fixed at the sunset.

That wonderful sunset.

There is something special about the orange-red light at dusk... I have always wanted to take a closer look at it.

So I started walking towards the setting sun. It felt warm and inviting.

After a short while, I heard her shouting from the distance: "Wait! You can't swim... please... please stop!"

Ah! The irony put me in a such a good mood, I began to laugh.

And so I woke up, still laughing until I noticed it was raining. 3 A.M. and way too early to begin the workday... too bad, I wanted to know how that dream ended.

Photo © Chris Nottingham

Moral: Being human means that if you have to go, you might as well do it with a smile... or even a laugh.

Trinkets from the past

So there I was, opening some boxes to set stuff aside for recycling or giving away, when I stumbled upon the remains of your watch. It wasn't functional, of course, but I still had carefully wrapped it in a plastic bag.

Many moons ago, you gave it to me hoping I could fix it but unfortunately, it didn't survive the intervention.

What to do? What to do now? I shopped around for two days until I found exactly the same model and gave it to you with an apology.

Yesterday, when the theme resurfaced, you seemed quite upset and annoyed:

"Why didn't you give it back to me after all these years?" - You asked, - "That watch was a gift from one of my best friends, the one who passed away long ago!"

I didn't know what to say at first, but the answer presented itself just as I began saying:


"... Because... that watch was all I had left from you".

Cats and Boxes

Ever since they arrive to this world, cats form a strong bond with carton boxes.

It begins when their moms look for a secluded, dark and preferably warm place to give birth. Shortly after the newly-born kitties have opened their eyes, they start peeking at the world beyond the box but dare not leave it. However, as soon as they are strong enough, they venture into the unknown to satisfy their curiosity, but always returning to the well known safety of their box.

Even as adults, cats still enjoy playing and jumping into boxes whenever they can, even a humble paper bag will do.

This morning, as soon as I finished getting dressed up, I suddenly recalled I needed to bring an install CD to the office. Most of them are kept inside a small carton box placed on top of a cabinet.

Sassy and Mitzi, my beloved kitties, were taking a nap on my bed, comfortably rolled in my blanket. Their eyes closed, but their ears discreetly moving around to sense what else was going on.

As soon as I grabbed the box, Mitzi's ears became fixed on my position but she still didn't move. Gosh! Too many CD's to examine and I'm in a rush... ok, it will be faster if I just take them out and flip them like cards.

As soon as I placed the empty box on the bed, Mitzi opened her eyes, purred at me and stretched herself while placing her paws in it, claws fully deployed. Well, I didn't found what I was looking for, so it was time to put the CD's back into the box and... oh oh. Box is busy with kitty... or the other way around.

When I extended my hand to pick up the box, Mitzi purred again looking at me without any intention of letting go of it.

I smiled and gave her a quick scratch on her head. Very well Mitzi kitty, you can have the box even if you are too big for it.

Another gentle purr, and after she tried to fit as much of herself as she could into the box, she resumed her nap.

She seemed genuinely happy because I let her keep the box.

And my bloody camera wasn't charged or else I would have included a picture. Argh!!!

The so-called "Human nature"

If we were like any other species on the planet, we would be fully integrated to our environment. Instead of transforming it to better suit our tastes and preferences, we would adjust to it like all the others do without falling into the specialisation fallacy, mind you, which of course is reserved for insects.

However, when we compare our directives and general behavior to a logic template, results often contradict any hope of common sense:

We pursuit that which retreats from us.
We love those who cannot love us back.
We long for what we don't have.
We take things for granted and don't fully appreciate them until they are gone.

I was never good at playing "games", those counterintuitive unwritten "rules" that often seem to be decisive at achieving the object of desire in question. Everybody and his dog seems to be aware of them.

Everybody else but me.

Instead, I opted for a more open nature... a strategy that has bitten me back more times than I can keep count of. As a prime example of stubborness on my own self, I still keep using that policy regardless of the ever increasing frustration brought by its eventual, almost fatallistically certain outcome.

Either I completely lack what others dare to define as "emotional intelligence", or in spite of external appearance, I do not belong to the local human race.

For all accounts, I was born here. So... misanthropy suddenly seems so attractive again.

Just before falling asleep

Suddenly, the night sky felt empty.
None of its offerings were enough
to quiesce the presence of your absence.

I think of your name quite often,
but never dare to speak it
lest echo would be the sole answer
I receive.

Your essence remains in love
with the waves, the sand and the breeze:
A smile that flows forever.

Only your eyes could bring peace
and joy and fire and hope
to a forsaken old heart.

"Hello..." you said and smiled.
Then in silence I smiled back
wishing of being one with the sea.

Afternoon of solitude

Funny.

Some consider spending an afternoon alone by yourself, curled-up on the sofa and doing nothing but watching TV and drinking beer to cope with hot weather pretty pathetic; on the contrary, others believe it's pure bliss.

The difference resides in choosing:

A - You chose to do it, or managed to do it in spite of other activities.

B - You've got nothing else to do.

Since the dawn of civilisation, it is a well-known fact that alcohol is the best thanatologist ever. Synapses begin firing up at random, nonsense becomes funny and you begin to laugh at anything and everything, even your present condition. In extreme dosages, your personality transforms and lets some of its darkest aspects loose in the wild.

Finally, the sweet stupor of numbness arrives. Drowsiness gives in to sleepiness in such a smooth transition you often cannot pinpoint the exact moment when it happens.

But there is a price to pay. Pain. You don't ever want to feel it again ever in your life... except you probably will because either the need to temporarily "deal with" (read "suppress") your problems becomes overwhelming once more, or as surprising as it might seem, you eventually forget how bad it was.

Oblivion is bliss simply because you stop becoming aware of your burdens.

And pretty much like your past, not only they won't go away.
They will accumulate and pile up.

So there is no real option but to endure them.

Maybe Nietzche will prove right to your advantage and you'll emerge stronger than before.

That is, if you first survive :)

I like to watch the stars

At night, whenever possible...
just before going back to my apartment,
I like to watch the stars.

I watch in silence.

The cold breeze passes by, fast and indifferent as always.

They have been pretty much the same before I ever came here. Most of them will continue to be long after I'm gone.

A sense of Trascendence.

Ever since we became a sentient species and managed to overcome our natural fear for darkness and gaze at them with insatiable curiosity. Thousands of generations have come and gone... yet we keep doing it.

It's almost as if they were calling us.

Each time I look at them, I wonder about what kind of thoughts people before me have experienced... and why not, those who, perhaps by coincidence, have chosen to simultaneously do the same thing as I did.

I think of those whom I've met and still see.
Those whom I've met and will never see again.
Those whom I haven't met yet.
Those whom I'll never meet though we could become good friends.

I like to watch the stars
because they represent all the possibilities that were, all that were not or won't be... and all that might be and will be.

I like to watch the stars
because they make me think of you.

If only I had the means
I couldn't wait to go back to them.



Image credit: ESA / HST

Tired.

Actors might change, but roles remain the same.

It's just the same with days: the calendar states they keep changing, yet they feel pretty similar at dusk.

Ideas and thoughts pop at every moment into my mind. They even shout out to the world, yet none are ever heard.

Time keeps running out.

Twilight

Be at peace, dear reader: Nope, this post has absolutely nothing to do with that movie.

The best thing about twilight is that, for a moment, you don't know if it will get darker or lighter.

Please ponder the following:

Who is poorer? The guy who doesn't have anything to give to others, or the one who has his hands full because nobody wants to take what he is offering?

How big of a consolation is it to know you have left a permanent mark on other people's souls, even though the probability of seeing them again diminishes exponentially as time goes by?

Life goes on. There is no choice but to join the parade, wave and smile to everyone in spite of how incomplete you might feel. There are other possibilities ahead.

Lesson learned: Stay away from those who are ashamed of admitting they are having more fun with the toad instead of the prince.

Is it getting darker or lighter?

Only time will tell.

Stage 1: Complete!!!

Well, some dreams must die so you can live on, but some others can be realised if you try hard enough.

Yesterday I went to pick up my Degree certificate and ID card. The quest I began many moons ago has been completed to stage one.

... Now onto stage two.

BTW, how do you like this hackintosh?

Feeling alive: Papalotl

Dear Reader,

Maybe you are wondering why did I stop writing?

Well, there were not many actual reasons. But if I had to choose one... hmm, why not write instead about the reason I'm blogging again?

Yesterday I decided to take a rather long walk. On my way, I found a butterfly nursery. It's like a huge crystal house but airtight; humidity and temperature are slightly above normal to emulate a tropical environment complete with waterfall.

The nursery is home to at least 12 different species of exotic butterflies. One has to wonder the reason why they evolved in so many different colours even though, like many insects, their eyes only perceive ultraviolet light.

One steps into the nursery and carefully walk around the premises immersed in soothing music. The inhabitants seem totally unaware of the chaos and noise reigning outside as they merrily flip their wings, chase each other and dodge leaves and visitors with unequalled grace. They are too fast, so sooner or later one realises the futility of trying to take a picture with a cameraphone and opt instead to just watch them and smile.

Suddenly, I noticed a butterfly that was grabbing itself to a flower, but made no attempt to eat. I came in closer to have a better look at it when one of the guides saw me and said: "She's waiting for her wings to dry... you see, she just emerged from the cocoon this morning. As soon as that is done, she'll fly for the first time and will join her older friends".

Lo and behold, the not-so little one flipped its wings a couple times as if she were trying to assess their strenght, flashing a beautiful dark blue gradient on the upper surface which makes for a rather dramatic contrast compared to the apparently dull lower surface (the one you see with the wings folded). Without wanting to wait anymore, she flew for the first time and quickly joined the chasing game of her older brothers and sisters.

That day was the first one in the adult life of that butterfly. The thought affected me more than I can relate in words, but I'll say this: Welcome to the world, papalotl. May you fly effortlessly and share your beauty with us for many days.

And thank you for making me feel alive.

Should I be surprised?

Given recent events in my life... not that much, really.

Your Score: Dr. Gregory House

50% Eccentricity, 60% Confidence, 30% Kindness

Congratulations, you're the man himself, Dr. Gregory House! You're quite strange, and usually do your own thing regardless of what anyone else thinks. This is partially because a person with an ego as large as yours could not care less what anyone else thinks or feels about anything. Unless, of course, they're your patient and they're dying--but only if they're dying of something interesting! You're a definite asshole to most other people, but at least you know how to be one in style, with an awesome wit, comfortable sneakers, and a never ending variety of facial expressions.

Link: The House, MD Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

27 dresses

It's hardly a secret I'm a big fan of romantic comedies.
"27 dresses", although a bit formulaic, was a very good movie on its own. But I want to comment on it because of the way it handles three very interesting messages. If you haven't seen it, please be forewarned there are spoilers ahead.

* It's alright to help others, as long as you don't neglect yourself.
The main character casually found she had a talent to help brides in the biggest day of their lives. But she didn't make it into her career. Instead, it became an obsession about having a future with the idealised image of her boss. She thought she was in love with him but never told nor hinted him about it.
Inrequited love is tempting and romantic, but in the end it always ends up as a recipe for disaster and misery. Sometimes it's very hard not to fall for it, but please! please remember never to let it thrive so much, it will feed on your own lifeforce.

* Don't spend too much time in idealisation. While reality can be more difficult to deal with, it is also much more rewarding.
What we call "Reality" is just a mental construct built of many different subjectivities to help us (hopefully) understand what is going on around us.
In this context, asking someone not to idealise things or persons sounds like an oxymoron but my intent is to make a difference between the act of collecting subjectivities to create a model and to consciously or subconsciously filtering them to collate something without any apparent flaws.
The main character spent her time wallowing and daydreaming about her object of affection without taking the chance to see how things would actually work. And this takes us to...

* Risks are always part of the game. It's alright though, you either take them or else wonder "what if..." forever.
The main character was in love with her boss, but never had the gut to make him aware of the fact. Sounds familiar?
We all hate it when we decide to take a risk and everything turns belly-side up; sooner or later in life, we've all had this feeling and it sucks bigtime.
However, we also forget the fact that by taking risk, we are also making a choice: See what's up for real once and for all.
And that's what she eventually did. She took a risk and told everything to the boss, who became surprised and even tried to reciprocate by kissing her... only it didn't work. The real version of the boss came out as flat compared to his idealised version, which honestly is always the expected outcome.
Only after the fantasy was over, the main character was capable of reassessing her situation and realise there was a new possibility around that ought to be explored further.

- Conclusions
Well, it's in human nature to idealise. Just don't do it at the expense of avoiding risk. Same with natural talents: if you're not making a living out of them, don't let them become an obsession.

Now, if only I listened to my own advice...

Why do Mobulas jump?

I'm back with mixed feelings from my trip to Los Cabos, Baja California, Mexico.

For sure, there are things I wish they never happened... but as I said yesterday over the phone to someone I still deeply care for, time may eventually transform all sad memories into good ones. Changing the past is impossible, but there might still be some chance for learning.

While I wait and see if this is true, I intend this post to be only about one of many good memories from my first day there.

* Scenario: The Baja California Peninsula

I won't burden you with the details, which you can check here. For now, I'm concentrating on the southernmost part of the peninsula.

Imagine a sandy desert chaparral complete with vultures, eagles, foxes, bats and hares; mountain chains are common but spaced and the weather is surprisingly mild (at least during the ongoing season). This desert is surrounded by the Sea of Cortes and the Pacific Sea to the east, west and south; intringuingly, it´s not as humid as other places I have visited further up north.

Most beaches are covered with little pebbles more than sand; combine that with strong winds and it is easy to figure out sea waves are not for the inexperienced.

In spite of all this, I am left with a sense of awe.

* Scenario: Almost any beach

Go to a beach on any morning or late afternoon, sit down and wait for a few minutes. You'll see Mobulas jumping out of the sea and back into it, flipping their wings and sometimes even making somersaults as they try to reach for the sky. Sometimes it's just one, at others there are three or more jumping in succesion. Locals call them by the uninspiring names of "Cubanas" or "Tortillas".

First question in mind: Why do they do this?

The short answer: Nobody knows.

Maybe they are getting themselves rid of parasites... or perhaps they are just happy to be alive (compared to other fish, they have very large and complex brains).

Without professional equipment and a good deal of luck, it's quite difficult to capture their exploits on camera. So I'll direct you instead to this site which contains both excellent images and story.

More posts to follow as soon as I can keep recalling memories without sorrow.

Check this out:

A Darth Vader Piñata

Take a look:



I love this place =)

Theora

Before I go to sleep, I must tell the world I have a new 'puter.
More to follow... as soon as I can get some sleep, that is!

Everybody is worth something.

... even when dead :)

Raw materials are no longer easy to come by. Click on the link for a free appraisal today!!!

$4725.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

Concept bike from Yamaha

Don't you wish big companies would put some of their concept vehicles into production?



This lovely mechanical creature is called the "Tesseract". It sports not two, but four wheels for additional stability and two engines: one for conventional fossil fuel while the other is electric. Rumour has it they are coordinated for extra-low ecological impact with improved performance pretty much like hybrid cars.

So I keep pondering two things:
* What do we need Sci Fi for when we've got Japan?
* Will it transform into an Autobot or a Decepticon?

Code Injection

Dear Reader:

Never underestimate the power of Code Injection:



This is one of the brightest yet geekiest jokes I've seen in years!